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A WEDDING I KNEW WOULDN’T LAST

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I liked my mother’s business partner’s son for a long time. My mother and his mother started a boutique which fetches decent money. I met him once or twice when the boutique was inaugurated and we met over Thanksgiving and other occasions later. My parents knew I liked him a lot. He had a girlfriend and there is no way that he’d want me. Unfortunately, they broke up after he found that her partner was cheating using hack facebook account service to monitor her.He was left heartbroken. He started to detest girls and that worried his parents. I started talking to him more often after his messy breakup. The girl left him for someone richer and well-settled. I genuinely wanted to be his friend and nothing more than that. One day, he asked me if I wanted to marry him. He didn’t want a marriage for a companion. He wanted to shut people up so that they won’t bother him with unwanted sympathies. Apparently, he was even engaged to his ex-girlfriend. I knew he was taking decisions in haste and yet I agreed to be part of this ridiculous union. I only thought about being his wife forever and not about the other consequences. Slowly, life started to show me the harsh reality. Also, there was no way out of it.

STORY PART –

“Let’s get married. I know you like me and I like you enough to get married to you.” He said, without lifting his head.

We were sitting on a bench in a park. He called me for a 5 AM jog and broke the news to me. I was happy that he wanted to marry me. It was not out of love or any kind of affection. He wanted to make sure that people stop talking about his disastrous love life.

“What do we tell our parents?” I asked slowly. It was a gentle whisper.

“We will tell them we want to get married. What else do you think we’ll say?”

And I told my parents the same thing. They were very happy to know that all of us will be a family. I was happy to finally belong to the man I loved. I knew the wedding won’t last. When both of us knew that I will be the only one putting efforts into the relationship, how do we expect a happily ever after? I was sensible enough to know that this wedding won’t last. And yet I dug my own grave. My marital life was all about ‘who pretends to be the best partner’. At home, he hardly speaks to me or tries to initiate a conversation. We had sex once or twice in almost two years of union. But when we are in social gatherings, he clings to me as if his life depended on it. I learned to accept it. What is the point of being with a man you love when you know he won’t love you back?

I was making breakfast in the kitchen when I realized he forgot his phone at home. He went out to meet a friend. The phone started ringing and I went to see who was calling so that I can ask them to call later. I realized the phone was not the one he uses every day. While I stood there thinking, the phone stopped ringing. I knew I shouldn’t be looking into his stuff. But he is my husband. What is wrong if I just look around a little bit? The phone had no password. I quickly opened his files. I almost dropped the phone down.

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My husband was cheating on me

Who am I kidding? He never tried to show me some love or brought me presents. He doesn’t share his feelings or let me tell him mine. He completely blocks me from his social hangouts if it is possible. We hardly meet his family or mine. We sleep in separate bedrooms. How did I expect him to live like that forever? He is not insane like me that he’d let his whole life revolve around me. The pictures on his phone were a wakeup call. They both were adorable together and he was very happy kissing, hugging and cuddling with her. I knew I’m the only one that deserves to be blamed. These are the choices I made. No one forced me to get into an unstable marriage. Not even him. But if I still remain in this marriage, I will be losing out so much in life. When he got back home, I showed him the phone and demanded answers.

“I thought it was obvious” He shrugged, “You know we don’t have anything between us.”

“I don’t want anything between us anymore.” I cried silently.

He never cared. I knew it since the beginning but it hurt now. How do I walk out of this pain now? How do I accept the harsh consequences?

“You want a divorce” He frowned.

“Yes,” My voice sounded vulnerable because of the tears.

He didn’t like the idea because the families will start asking questions. We have to tell our friends a reason for the sudden separation. I told him to introduce the other girl to his family and friends.

“They will think I cheated on you”

“That’s exactly what you did”

He didn’t agree for a month or so. I was scared to ask him more firmly because the entire truth will come out. I didn’t want to be showcased as the fool either. Finally, he agreed for a divorce and we separated with mutual consent. I am a single, independent and confident woman now. I didn’t find love yet but I also learned that love can’t be forced. I let a teenage crush define my entire life. But this life is much more valuable than fulfilling our silly fantasies. I am glad I realized that sooner than later.