I never believed in marriages or long-time commitments because of my parents’ bad divorce. I thought there is nothing called ‘Together forever’. My dad was from Atlanta and my mom from California. They were poles apart and things quickly fell out of place. I didn’t want to risk anything like that in my life. So, I always searched for something temporary. In my 28 years of life, I had many short-term ‘arrangements’ with women. But what I had with Sarah was different. Of course, we decided on not bringing the emotional baggage into our relationship. We had great sex and I bought her gifts and pampered her a lot. Slowly, I began liking her company more than I should.
I called her more often and we started to talk about our personals though we are not supposed to. Sarah was the girl I met in the local theater and we have awesome sex whenever we wish to. It was meant to be like that. Suddenly, she told me she will be shifting to her grandmother’s place and we won’t be seeing each other much. For the first time in my life, I got completely devastated due to a girl. I snooped on to her online chats to find out any possible reason which stops her from even talking to me. And I was right about it. If it were the old me, I’d search for another woman to shag. But for the first time, I didn’t want a girl to go. And that led to a new beginning for me.
After a very satisfactory sex session, I collapsed on top of Sarah.
“You were a little too ‘active’ today” She joked.
I laughed along with her and said, “You are very pretty today”
“Pretty? Really? I expected sexy, hot or…” She giggled.
We ordered Chinese food and ate until we were content and began to watch Netflix. Then she suddenly mentioned how she has to shift to her grandmother’s place. Her mother needs someone to help her with their family business while she takes care of her grandmother. Her father never married her mother and that is the reason she never wanted a guy to stick around. Her grandmother had third stage cancer and needs someone to be with her most of the time. Sarah earns a decent amount of money and sends money for her grandmother’s treatment.
“I think you should go. They need you” I said, though it hurt to pretend like I didn’t care.
I was scared she’d run away the minute I tell her how I was feeling. No, I won’t call this love or something that will last forever. But for now, I wanted her to be with me. I didn’t want to sound selfish by asking her to stay back. This was just a ‘friends with Benefits’ arrangement and I should not be telling her what to do. She packed her bags the next day and I helped her do it. She was eager to be with her family after a long time. And I was getting uncomfortable seeing her prepare for departure. Didn’t she feel sad to leave me behind? This was just another temporary source of entertainment for her? Of course, we made it clear to each other in the beginning that it will be nothing more than that. Strangely, I was being an emotional fool. I hugged her in the airport and watched her disappear. I thought all this is going to fade away soon and I’ll find some other girl. I did find another chick in the gym. But my mind kept screaming, “THIS IS NOT SARAH!” and I had to ask the girl to leave. She thought I was an incapable idiot, I’m sure.
I was getting so disturbed that I decided to visit Sarah as soon as possible. I stuffed the first few t-shirts I found in my cupboard and took the first flight to her grandmother’s place. I knew the address because she gave it to me before leaving. I didn’t know why though. Seriously, she didn’t have to. When I reached her place, I hesitated to knock. After contemplating for 15 minutes, I knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it.
Her mother opened the door and frowned, “May I help you?”
“Can I meet Sarah?” I gulped. I was so nervous that I began sweating.
“You are Michael?” She asked, analyzing me.
“Yes” It was my turn to frown in confusion, “You know me?”
She laughed and asked me to come inside. She made me a nice cup of coffee and told me how Sarah wouldn’t stop talking about me. Ever since she arrived, she kept telling them about me. I didn’t know Sarah observed so much about me.
“But she left to meet you this morning,” Her mother said.
I immediately called Sarah and she lifted on the third ring.
“Where are you, Michael?” She asked.
“At your place” I smiled. “
“What are you doing there?”
“I missed you and…what are you doing at my place?”
“Maybe I missed you too?”
I could imagine her blushing in my head.
We had been together ever since. No, we never asked each other to stay forever. We spoke on phone calls and Skype. If I’m free, I’d fly to her place and she’d do the same. I had a lot of sex in my life and what I wanted now was a companion. I want to be the reason for her happiness. I never thought I’d say that but she changed my thinking for the good. Someday, we want to keep our past behind us and find a new future. But for now, we are trying to fix the damaged ‘us’ together.